Scene: Borders, mystery section, 10 p.m., Friday night
They stole my bike: Book for trip... must find book for trip.... Shit.
Random guy: Hi. How are you doing?
They stole my bike: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... hi. Avoids eye contact, takes step away.
Random guy: So, you from around here?
They stole my bike: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... yes. Gives awkward, don't do this! look. Steps back, steps back, flees.
They stole my bike: Need wedding ring... must put back on wedding ring.
They stole my bike: Shit, that was really, really rude.
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