Guest blogger! Bino on sleeping

When I was thinking of potential guest bloggers to ask, I thought of people who didn't have blogs but who should because they have interesting things to say. I'm very pleased that Bino accepted my invitation, and lo, how he outdid himself. If you're ever attempted a top 10 list, you know how coming up the material for 10 is pushing it. Bino crushes us all and busts out an impressive 25 without breaking a sweat. Or without falling asleep, which, as you will soon learn, is more impressive. Thanks Bino!

Over the past weekend wife LEH and I spent time giving thanks (mostly for food and liquor) with our soccer team at our 2nd Annual Soccer Thanksgiving Festival. Après consuming too much food, too many“Little Smokies,” and imbibing a few too many shots of tequila, the fellas proceeded to lounge around in the reclining leather chairs… mmm, very comfy. Shortly thereafter we somehow stumbled on to our hosts’ stash of magazines (I was definitely not the one snooping!), the topmost one which proclaimed “Top 50 Places to Ski.”

I don’t know what it is, but nothing captivates your attention like a “Top 25” or “Top 50” list. Many people attempt to mesmerize the masses with their “Top 10” lists, but these just don’t cut the mustard. Perhaps it’s that a Top 10 list is not robust enough, or perhaps we recognize the lackluster attempt inherent in cultivating 1000’s of items down to a paltry list of 10. Needless to say we were all spellbound with reading and discussing the list created by the readers of Ski magazine. In the magic of the moment we shared stories of past experiences (“This one time I was skiing at ___ and, oh man, there’s this one run where…”), we hatched plans for future vacations together, and created a Top 25 list of our own.

In the spirit of Top 25 Lists, I thought it might be appropriate to provide my own enthralling list, but what to choose? After waffling for a few days, I decided to proceed with what I do best. So here you have it folks, unrestricted and uncensored (excluding the descriptors and/or caveats), in no:

Bino’s Top 25 Places To Fall Asleep

1. In a snuggly warm bed (preferably pre-warmed by wife LEH)
2. On the porcelain chair in the “office”

THUD!
LEH: Bino, are you okay in there?
Me: Yep, just dropped my book on accident, that’s all.

3. On the couch by the window (preferably with the sun shining through)
4. At a Smashing Pumpkins concert (I was rather sick, but still!)
5. In the car on the way to church (darn those heated seats)
6. In the car on the way home from church (mmm, I love these heated seats)
7. In the car on the way to soccer (Can you drive LEH, I’m low on gas.)
8. In the car on the way home from soccer (hey, I worked hard out there)
9. Riding in the car on the way home from a party

LEH: Are you going to fall asleep?
Me: No, I’m not tired.

10. In the car during a road trip with LEH to Michigan, to Utah, to Illinois, to Lutsen, to…
11. Pretty much anytime I ride in the car. No, seriously, anytime I’m in the car I’m a disaster.
12. In the middle of my own sentence…
13. While opening gifts for family Christmas gathering (scoring negative points as it was the in-laws again!)
14. At the computer in my office (Place the beaker in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
15. In a chair, on the couch, or on the floor at the aforementioned party (especially post drinking)
16. On the floor in the hall outside of my dorm room in Ellingson, in the middle of a conversation
17. In the middle of lecture in college, complete with the GIGANTIC full-body muscle jerk that scares the people sitting next to you
18. While playing Catch Phrase at the 1^st Annual Soccer Thanksgiving Festival
19. While watching TV in the old apartment

Roomie: Bino, it’s late (11 PM), go to bed.
Me: Wha, what? Oh, thanks, yeah, I’ll get up soon.
Five hours later…Me: Ugh! What time is it, and why does my neck hurt?

20. On my bed in the middle of my own party (thank you mystery person for setting my alarm clock early enough for the next day to make it to work on time)
21. While taking the PRAXIS II exam (requisite for receiving my teaching license)
22. While grading papers for class (“Mr. Bino, what’s this big green line on my paper for?”)
23. On the porcelain chair in the “office” (yes, it’s happened more than once!)
24. Hanging out with friends at Perkins

LEH: Are you sure you should take that cough medicine?
Me: Yeah, I’ll be fine. It says “May make you drowsy” but this stuff never really works…

25. On the floor of my in-laws dining room, under the table, with feet propped up on chair, post dinner