Chew on this

As I was getting very close and personal with the mirror last night, working the floss carefully between each tooth as instructed by my dental hygienist, I wondered why Americans are so obsessed about teeth. Now I'm all for dental hygiene, but why exactly are dentists separate from doctors? Why do we have dental insurance and health insurance? What we get from all our obsessiveness is freakishly up-to-date information. Every time I go something has changed... they've realized that polishing is actually not very good for your teeth, and they have that annoying little tool for measuring the number of millimeters between your gums and teeth. "What I really want," I thought, as the mirror revealed just how large the pores on my nose are, "is someone to pay this much attention to dermatology." Why are we still getting zits in our mid-twenties? Why can no one give me a straight answer about moles? Help, medical industry! Why do you throw us to the mercy of the evil skin care industry that is Biore, with their empty promises and overpriced products?