Softballs are actually quite hard...

Disclaimer: I wrote this a few weeks ago.

As I've become an adult, I've struggled with a small group of things I expected to like/be able to do, that I've found I've disliked/haven't been able to do very successfully.

For example, drive a manual transmission car.

And when I've encountered these few things, I've had a deep personal battle between:
1. Don't be a quitter! Suck it up!
2. It's OK to not like some things.

This issue came up again when [and here's where I reveal something I've been trying to hide, but I'm sure has been quite obvious] I invited a few female friends to join our XX-deprived softball team.

"I don't really get into team sports," one said.
"Yeah, and I'm afraid of the ball," the second chimed in.

And part of me caved in.

For I, too, was quite surprised to find myself [and here I cringe again] afraid of the ball while playing softball last year, after how many years of youth city league softball? But youth softball was women! Women who didn't want to chip their nails because it was prom season!

"And you, like, broke your nose," the first reminded us.

I know! And surely I should be well over that!

But last year I found myself, stomach in knots, thinking, "Don't hit it to me. Don't hit it to me," and dreading my up at bat.

I didn't admit these things because obviously they are quite a downer. And I don't want to be a downer! I want to be:
1. a team player
2. fun!

But I'm admitting it now, regrettably in a very poor setting, as this is my blog, not my softball team, but I plan to rectify this by admitting to my softball team that softball, well, makes me a little nervous, but I want to give it my all and have fun.

Addition after first game: Hurrah! Confessing my insecurities made me feel a lot better. I think part of problem was thinking that I had to hide it.