Holiday traditions, naughty and nice

5 holiday traditions that should be returned for store credit:
1. White elephant, Yankee, whatever the kind, gift-swaps make me bah-humbug
2. Figgy pudding (figs = good, pudding = fantastic, but together?)
3. Caroling by random people (door-to-door salespeople are awkward enough)
4. Gift receipts that are useless
5. The song Santa, Baby

5 holiday traditions that jingle my bells:
1. Mistletoe. Who doesn’t like a little mischievous adventure lurking under innocent doorways?
2. Spiced nuts. Mmm, but too easy to eat them all.
3. Christmas ornaments with stories and dried macaroni (mmm, syllepsis)
4. Figurines that move and dance and play music – brilliant.
5. Kitschy lawn ornaments. Our genius neighbors have a lit snowman who tips his hat. Every time I see him, I tip my imaginary hat back. Good day to you too, Frosty.

Re: Jell-O brand pudding and 12,000 Miles in the Nick of Time: don’t bother, both are artificial. The fifteen minutes the Cafe Brenda Cookbook pudding takes is worth it.