Half-marathon

Miles 1-4. Hmm. Don't know if I can do this.
Mile 5. Subconsciously speed up in anticipation of half-way point. Get light-headed. Swear.
Mile 6.5 About frigging time.
Miles 6.5-8 La la la...
Mile 8 Gu gel! Mmm, tangerine.
Miles 8-10 Sugar high.
Mile 10 Big frigging hill. The "You could just stop" demon starts whispering seductively in my ear.
Mile 11 Seriously doubt viability of marathon.
Mile 12 Hurrah! Promise myself that in just nine minutes I never have to run again.
Mile 12.8 Walk very steep, short hill. Break into run and pass those who ran up the hill. See you, suckers! Spy finish line blocks away but quell excitement in case a mirage.
Mile 13.1 Finish line! Eat that!
Mile 13.2 Difficulties fade in warm glow of success and central heating. Thoughts turn excitedly to upcoming marathon.