Guest blogger! Slumlord on finding women

Today, as a special treat for sticking with me throughout November, I bring you the Slumlord, who allows us a peek into his obsession with spreadsheets and their uses beyond the usual work applications. He also gives us a peek into his kitchen... or at least, what used to be his kitchen. Thanks Slummy!

A hearty thank you to She of the Stolen Bike for allowing a numbers and spreadsheet guy like me, the Slumlord, to share this space.

Before we get into the dark and scary mind of the Slumlord, a bit of background is needed. For example, one might wonder why a person would be called the Slumlord. I agree with you, good reader, this is an unjust term given to me by my Hetero Life Partner aka Tenant aka Señor Ferret. Apparently, he requires a more functional kitchen than this:

Personally, I see this as the perfect rustic kitchen with a nice…ah…shall we say "Open floor plan." In many countries this would be luxurious and I should increase his rent accordingly. It has a refrigerator and a stove, what else does he need?! Running water is not needed, nor is a prep area! As you can see, the title of Slumlord is completely unjust.

I am frequently mocked for my use of spreadsheets by my tenant, Señor Ferret, because I use them for nearly every important decision in life. Sure, a normal person might use spreadsheets for financial decisions such as purchasing a home or remodeling the kitchen, but I take it one step further - even emotional decisions can be made with a spreadsheet. As a single man, finding a woman (Yes, a WOMAN) to spend my life with is a good example of how a spreadsheet can be used to make a decision.We all know that no one is perfect (except for me, of course) and compromises need to be made to make the happiest match. The only way I know how to compromise is based on data, so it is time to create data. Rate each important aspect of a person such as intelligence, sense of humor, life goals, personality, and looks based on your ideal. Once you average the scores you have an accurate numerical assessment of the person against your ideal which will assist in determining if this is a good compromise. You can add some conditional formatting where certain deal breakers aren’t met to draw your attention to any issues, such as a 5 in intelligence – a woman smarter than me would not be good. For the more detail oriented people, like me, each of these parent categories can be broken down into individual components to allow a thorough examination of each category. Clearly, you need to see the Girlfriend Rater v1.02 for you to fully appreciate its brilliance:

Lame? Yes. Emotionless? Yes, that’s the whole point. It’s the perfect way to make a decision and feel comfortable that all aspects are reviewed. In other news, if anyone knows a 8, 9, 8, 8.5, 9 looking for a 10, 12, 10, 10, 10 you know who to call.

Black Friday

I lied. Husband is continuing his post tomorrow. Stay tuned!

At 5:55 on Friday morning I was shivering outside Macy's, preparing to run in and grab the Hannah Montana doll doorbuster that we had convinced ourselves my little cousin wanted more than anything in the world. We were successful, only to get mesmerized by the pretty, pretty boots minutes later and when we left Macy's for Caribou, boots in hand, poor Hannah was left behind. We didn't realize it until Sunday, when in the name of holy Christmas miracles, she was waiting patiently for us in the lost and found.

Guest blogger! Husband on comics

I never would have opened up a comic or a graphic novel if Husband hadn't given me a few recommendations for titles that challenged the stereotype I had about comics. So I asked him to write a bit about comics for those who haven't picked one up since the Betty and Veronica days, and to provide a few recommendations to get you started. Thanks Husband!

A few people know this about me but it is time to come out of the long box…er… closet to a broader group.

Here goes (clears throat) I am a fanboy.

(crickets)

Sorry my geek:English dictionary wasn’t working. I am a comic book fan.

(hushed silence)

Whoo…I feel so free. I never anticipated feeling like this. I am a comics fan…a geek…a nerd…I am a Fanboy. Wow. (sniff) I love you all.

Here is the thing. When a fanboy or girl first “comes out” the thing most expected of him or her is to justify their particular hobby. I understand this tendency given the stigma associated with comics fandom. To a non-comics fan, the idea of the comic book is a quaint one. One envisions oneself at twelve years old with skinned knees drinking Hi-C, chewing Big League Chew and flipping through the latest Archie Digest and laughing along as Jughead yet again foils his own plans because of his lust for the cheeseburger. Your parents then call out to you and tell you to put down that trash and go outside and play.

However, when somebody thinks of a Fanboy one pictures the following. A sallow-skinned well-fed (or anemic depending on your preferred stereotype) person living in their parents basement surrounded by long white boxes of funny books, a life sized storm trooper suspended from the ceiling by an intricate system of pulleys and levers and a melange of discarded take-away containers covering the floor screaming the names Dominoes, Lui’s Chow Mien, and Taco Bell. There is a piquancy that permeates the air that has tones of ball sweat, discarded chili-cheese burrito and lost hopes. This person can quote chapter and verse from the book of Batman. This person does not understand why the “Comic Book Guy” on the Simpsons is funny, s/he thinks they have been separated at birth.

The truth is that the average fanboy (only adults are fanboys…kids can love comics but it takes a bit for those seeds of obsession to percolate to the role of fanboy-I-tude) is faintly bookish, given to obsession and above all loves stories.

That is what comics are…stories. True the cleavage, spandex, and heat vision to reality ratio is a lot higher than in Dostoevsky’s oeuvre but still…stories. But here is why I like comics. They are Awesome.

Some stuff I like about comics:

The gutters
A gutter is the space between two panels. In that space you are responsible for the fate of that character. This allows you to fill in the details. Here is a common conics scenario.

Panel One: Buxom young woman in extreme foreground facing the reader, making a salad. Drunk guy holding an axe in extreme background.

Panel Two: the neck and shoulders of the buxom young salad-maker.

What happened? In a movie you watch Hacky McChopsalot decapitate Suzie Mixedgreens. In a comic there are infinite options. I can see the appeal but I prefer to have the option that an invisible chipmunk came into the room used a rusty paring knife to sever the head of the soccer mom who ran over her boyfriend in her Cadillac SUV.. Uh…never mind…I take that back.

Options
There are three basic types of comics.

1. The ongoing series. These are the titles where every month you will get an installment of a title that may date back as far as 1938 (Action Comics if you are keeping score at home) and you will read part of this broad history while continuing a story arc. A story arc is a story that takes 2-12 issues and they are always self-contained while adding to the broader story (story in fanboy-speak is called continuity).
2. Limited series: Limited series are just that if you wanted to take a character from a book or an alternative future of a book you can tell that story, but it won’t happen in the normal title. Let’s say you wanted to create a story of spider-man where he was thinking he might be a furry. This would not happen in the regular book…but in a six issue series why not dress Peter Parker as Scrappy-Doo and lock him in a room with Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer with a bottle of champagne and a copy of Laying Private Ryan. Um…let me just say that idea…Husband TM.
   
3. The graphic novel. If you are a fanboy and want to sound cool you call all comics graphic novels. I actually know the derivation of the term “graphic novel” but I won’t bother you with it. The only things that you can actually call “graphic novels” are things intended to be one story. In that story you get the whole story you don’t think…”wait but what happens next?”

TOMORROW: A few specific comics that I love and recommendations you may enjoy (assuming you are not well versed in the comics world).

Crafty 2: Scavenged Crafts

A couple of years ago I noticed that nearly every other house on the street displays something pretty and seasonal in planters on their doorsteps... spring annuals, robust summer blooms, harvest colored mums, and then piney boughs and berries for the winter. Since then I've been trying to keep up... but have felt bad because it seems so wasteful to spend all this money on things that I end up throwing away when the season's done.

I was thinking about this the other day when I noticed all the planters were filled with wintry bouquets... and my eyes alighted on the dogwood bush in the corner of our yard. Hey! The same red branches that I saw for sale at local fancy grocery store! Then this morning I drove over to my parents and found a teetering stack of pots next to their garbage. Hey! Two perfect planters! A sweep of their backyard (part of a former pine tree farm) and I had arm fulls of boughs and a sack full of pine cones.

It's a bit free-flowing and needs a little touch-up after some of the branches settled, but hey, it was free!
























My second scavenged craft isn't something that I put together but something that will enable me to do crafts. Since I got my sewing machine in June I've been thinking idly about a table for it... wondering if I should buy something cheap at Ikea... or ask around... or make something from an old door in the garage.

Then Husband and I were driving home from running last week and I spied a table on the curb with a FREE sign. I'm not usually one to pick up random stuff, but after half a block I asked Husband to drive around again. We hobbled out the car, inspected it, and shoved in it the back.


















It's got a metal top and is nice and big, and has these extensions tucked under the top to make it even bigger. It just needs some fresh paint on the bottom part.


















Good timing, as I start my sewing classes next week!

Guest blogger! Bino on sleeping

When I was thinking of potential guest bloggers to ask, I thought of people who didn't have blogs but who should because they have interesting things to say. I'm very pleased that Bino accepted my invitation, and lo, how he outdid himself. If you're ever attempted a top 10 list, you know how coming up the material for 10 is pushing it. Bino crushes us all and busts out an impressive 25 without breaking a sweat. Or without falling asleep, which, as you will soon learn, is more impressive. Thanks Bino!

Over the past weekend wife LEH and I spent time giving thanks (mostly for food and liquor) with our soccer team at our 2nd Annual Soccer Thanksgiving Festival. Après consuming too much food, too many“Little Smokies,” and imbibing a few too many shots of tequila, the fellas proceeded to lounge around in the reclining leather chairs… mmm, very comfy. Shortly thereafter we somehow stumbled on to our hosts’ stash of magazines (I was definitely not the one snooping!), the topmost one which proclaimed “Top 50 Places to Ski.”

I don’t know what it is, but nothing captivates your attention like a “Top 25” or “Top 50” list. Many people attempt to mesmerize the masses with their “Top 10” lists, but these just don’t cut the mustard. Perhaps it’s that a Top 10 list is not robust enough, or perhaps we recognize the lackluster attempt inherent in cultivating 1000’s of items down to a paltry list of 10. Needless to say we were all spellbound with reading and discussing the list created by the readers of Ski magazine. In the magic of the moment we shared stories of past experiences (“This one time I was skiing at ___ and, oh man, there’s this one run where…”), we hatched plans for future vacations together, and created a Top 25 list of our own.

In the spirit of Top 25 Lists, I thought it might be appropriate to provide my own enthralling list, but what to choose? After waffling for a few days, I decided to proceed with what I do best. So here you have it folks, unrestricted and uncensored (excluding the descriptors and/or caveats), in no:

Bino’s Top 25 Places To Fall Asleep

1. In a snuggly warm bed (preferably pre-warmed by wife LEH)
2. On the porcelain chair in the “office”

THUD!
LEH: Bino, are you okay in there?
Me: Yep, just dropped my book on accident, that’s all.

3. On the couch by the window (preferably with the sun shining through)
4. At a Smashing Pumpkins concert (I was rather sick, but still!)
5. In the car on the way to church (darn those heated seats)
6. In the car on the way home from church (mmm, I love these heated seats)
7. In the car on the way to soccer (Can you drive LEH, I’m low on gas.)
8. In the car on the way home from soccer (hey, I worked hard out there)
9. Riding in the car on the way home from a party

LEH: Are you going to fall asleep?
Me: No, I’m not tired.

10. In the car during a road trip with LEH to Michigan, to Utah, to Illinois, to Lutsen, to…
11. Pretty much anytime I ride in the car. No, seriously, anytime I’m in the car I’m a disaster.
12. In the middle of my own sentence…
13. While opening gifts for family Christmas gathering (scoring negative points as it was the in-laws again!)
14. At the computer in my office (Place the beaker in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
15. In a chair, on the couch, or on the floor at the aforementioned party (especially post drinking)
16. On the floor in the hall outside of my dorm room in Ellingson, in the middle of a conversation
17. In the middle of lecture in college, complete with the GIGANTIC full-body muscle jerk that scares the people sitting next to you
18. While playing Catch Phrase at the 1^st Annual Soccer Thanksgiving Festival
19. While watching TV in the old apartment

Roomie: Bino, it’s late (11 PM), go to bed.
Me: Wha, what? Oh, thanks, yeah, I’ll get up soon.
Five hours later…Me: Ugh! What time is it, and why does my neck hurt?

20. On my bed in the middle of my own party (thank you mystery person for setting my alarm clock early enough for the next day to make it to work on time)
21. While taking the PRAXIS II exam (requisite for receiving my teaching license)
22. While grading papers for class (“Mr. Bino, what’s this big green line on my paper for?”)
23. On the porcelain chair in the “office” (yes, it’s happened more than once!)
24. Hanging out with friends at Perkins

LEH: Are you sure you should take that cough medicine?
Me: Yeah, I’ll be fine. It says “May make you drowsy” but this stuff never really works…

25. On the floor of my in-laws dining room, under the table, with feet propped up on chair, post dinner

Oh dear

I got all wrapped up the day that I forgot to post! Somewhere between the running and the getting ready and the packing and the leaving I forgot all about posting. Blogger would allow me to cheat and post as if it were yesterday, but no. I admit. I lost. But since it was by accident and not for lack of things to say, I'll post twice for Friday to make up for it.

Here's the post I had all queued up, too:

What greater holiday is there than Thanksgiving? Its entire purpose is to eat, be with others, and give thanks, three things that I love. There isn't even church. And it's followed by a three-day weekend, so it has that kick-off-the-season feel, instead of the have-to-go-to-work-tomorrow shadow that haunts Easter.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Crafty

Christmas is a good excuse to indulge your crafty side and make a few homemade gifts. Every year I try a couple of things... some have been more successful than others, but here's a little list if you're looking for a few ideas. If you have favorites of your own, please share them with us!

GIFTS
Organizers. I made these pretty accordion-style organizers last year and was quite pleased with the results. PaperSource had all the supplies (nice envelopes, fancy ribbons, and label stickers) for pretty reasonable, especially if you're making a few sets.

Ornaments. A perennial favorite, and couldn't be easier. I've taken seashells from our beachy trips and put a dab of glue in them and inserted both ends of a foot-long ribbon, making a loop so it hangs on the tree. I took a silver pen and wrote the year and destination on the ribbon. I've also taken photos from the year and made a little paper frame and glued on a ribbon length to the top corners to hang on the tree. Anything + glue + ribbon = a pretty little gift.

Other ideas...
EC and I made these marble magnets once up at the cabin... they are quite fun and easy, and who couldn't use a few stylish little magnets?


FOOD GIFTS
Biscotti. I made two kinds - cranberry ginger and orange hazelnut, and wrapped about five pieces each in tissue paper, clear bag, and a ribbon. I think biscotti's quite tasty and is a perfect winter coffee/cocoa break, not-too-sweet treat, but it's so dry and doesn't look very appealing so I'm not sure whether I'll do this again.

Spiced/glazed nuts. I put these in a big glass jar tied up with ribbon... and it didn't look nearly as pretty or yummy as I thought it would. I was even kind of embarrassed to hand them over when the time came. Perhaps one of those clear bags instead? They are tasty to eat, however, whether you choose a spicy recipe or one that's more sweet.

For this year, I was thinking about this pretty looking pistachio brittle in the latest Martha Stewart Living... but I always feel like sweet treats are enjoyed yet also resented. At least the brittle has some protein. Oooh... I've also wanted to try one of those homemade marshmallow recipes... wouldn't that be a nice treat to receive? The airtight container and keeping only 3 days would be a trick, though.

Day 20

10 whole days left! You might be wondering, can I make it? Yes, I can feel the doubt, even as I type. Your lack of confidence... your pity... your concern for how low the blogging standards can sink. What will she post next? A photo of her freezer? Daily updates about the cats? A blow by blow update on her cold? Yet more Pillow Book? When will blessed December arrive?

But lo! Fear not, gentle reader, for the best is yet to come. I have two more Guest Bloggers gracing us with their insightful wisdom and wit, and one Guest Blogger making a valiant return, not unlike when a coach with a checkered past and a local drunk train a small town high school basketball team to become a top contender for the championship in the classic training movie Hoosiers.

Yes, we all may have something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Tacohead on beachy vacations

I've always thought I have only two skills to offer people: proof-reading their Christmas card letters and advising them on where to go for a beachy vacation. Inspired by the guest bloggers, I decided to have some fun with the vacation topic and create a little quiz.

Tacohead's Beachy Vacation Indicator Test
To take: Grab a sheet of paper and write the following letters across the top: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I. Then read the first statement. If you agree with it, give each letter indicated a point. If you strongly agree with it, give each letter a few points. If you feel neutral, skip it and go on to the next statement. If you disagree or strongly disagree with it, take away a point from that letter. (That may mean some letters will have negative points).

I want to use my passport – A, B, C, H, I
A short flight is important – A
I want to avoid small island-hopping planes – A, B, D, E, H, I
I get sea-sick – no ferries please – A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I
I want to be able to drive a car and have it be easy – D, E, F, G
I want to be able to drive a car... on the left side of the road – B, C, I
I don’t want to drive a car – A, H
Gorgeous beaches are important to me – C, E, H
Being able to hike is important to me – C, E, F, G
I like to shop for great deals on jewelry, cologne, etc., haggling required – A, B
I like to shop for goods in stores found on Rodeo Drive – D, E, H, I

To have the following cuisines/drinks on my trip sounds appealing:
Pineapple – D, E, F, G
Guacamole and margaritas - A
Sushi – D, F
West African – B, C
Familiar chain restaurants – D, E, G
Rum drinks – B, C, H, I
Cheap drinks – A, B, C

It would be fun if the destination felt a bit like visiting England – H
It would be fun if the destination felt a bit like visiting Japan – D, F
I don’t want to spend much money, but I want to stay in a hotel in a lively place – A, B, D
I don’t want to spend much money, but I want something quiet, and would consider camping-like accommodations – C, E, F, G
I like places known for impeccable service – H, I
It is important to me that the people who live there have a decent standard of living – C, D, E, F, G, H
I have money I want to hide in an off-shore account – I

NOW:
Tally up the smiley points under each letter. The ones with the highest totals are the places you're most interested in!

So, here's where to book your trip. DISCLAIMER - this indicator is for fun, and is severely limited by the fact that it includes only destinations I've been to. And it has many flaws (including grouping Mexico together as ONE GIANT MASS but then parsing out the Hawaiian islands).

A Mexico
B St. Thomas
C St. John
D Oahu
E Maui
F Kauai
G Hawaii (the island of)
H Bermuda
I Grand Cayman

Cadbury is like a 12-year-old girl

He won't go to the litter box alone. He meows and meows until Stilton goes downstairs and stands by him while he uses it.

IN OTHER NEWS
I am sick! Well, I have that regular old cold that is going around. I keep berating myself for wanting to lie around but then I remember: I'm sick! That's part of the deal! It's what you do.

Must go:
1. do quick chores like put away laundry that will make me feel all stress-y and gloom-and-doom Monday-y if I find them un-done when I go up to bed
2. prep dinner (baked BBQ tofu and sweet potato fries)
3. make cocoa
4. light a fire in fireplace
5. sit by fire and drink cocoa

Nada

I'm sorry to report that I'm not posting today. There's this rule, you see. You run 20 miles, you get an all-day pass to do whatever you want. They hand them out when you're done, with the Endurox. And I'm flashing you mine.
Good. We understand each other.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to (nerd alert!) doing puzzles and hanging with the cats. And eating, as soon as Husband comes back with the goods.

Guest blogger! AP on fall projects

A quick introduction: While I write jubilant posts about knitting a scarf or the first and only time I've canned anything, my friend AP knits sweaters and puts up provisions for the winter that would make anyone's grandma proud. She can brew beer, make cheese (from cows she's milked), and makes a mean pear pie. No wonder she was better at Girl Scouts than I was. I've asked her to tell us a bit about what she's been up to... she makes all the amazing things she does sound so easy and doable.

I keep trying and not getting around to writing my own blog about projects I’m working on so I thought I’d use my five minutes as a “guest blogger” and stick to my theme by telling you about some of my fall projects. We finally had a frost here in my northern Midwest City a full month later than our September 25th average, and I’ve decided I better get to all of the fall projects I’ve been putting off for weeks. They’re some of my favorite tasks of the year so I don’t know why it’s been so difficult. An afternoon of time away from work has been extraordinarily helpful.

1. Seed Saving
Well, really my primary task was to clean out all of the ugly, dead, frozen things from the garden in front of the house. I have a neighbor who pays more attention to my yard than I do and has even been known to mow my lawn and cut back my plants that don’t meet her specifications. So, for the neighbor’s sake, I thought I’d relocate the in situ compost to the proper bin in the backyard. In the process, though, I collected some seeds from my scarlet runner beans to plant again next year. Though my trellising was quite inadequate this year, I’m convinced scarlet runner beans would look great climbing up the front of my house all the way to the roof. Now that they’re all cleaned out, my front gardens aren’t much to look at—I’m considering talking a friend into painting some faux plants on my foundation. Instead, here’s a photo of my saved scarlet runner bean seeds. Aren’t they gorgeous?



















2. Salsa Verde
A few years ago, I was all excited about growing tomatillos so I planted a whole bed in my garden and, as anyone who’s ever grown tomatillos can imagine, I came to regret it. Even if I liked tomatillos, which it turns out I don’t, not much anyway, a whole bed, no matter how small the bed, is WAY TOO MANY (unless you have a good market). Tomatillos are prolific in a big way. Not only will one plant produce an unfathomable number of fruits that are incongruently both sickly sweet and bitter, there is no way you will possibly pick all of the fruit and they will self seed and come back many times over the following year again and again and again. So it happened that without planting a single tomatillo plant in my garden this year, I felt obligated during a recent afternoon in the garden to harvest a full paper grocery bag of the little buggers.


















I gave away an armload to a friend who thought they might be good roasted with honey, my roommate made a triple batch of enchilada sauce, and I still have too many for my liking. I haven’t heard how the roasting with honey went, the enchiladas were quite tasty and I’ll be making salsa verde tonight. It’s really quite convenient that I also harvested a bag of jalapeno peppers during the same trip to the garden.















3. Garlic
Though she may have crossed the line in doing my gardening for me on occasion, it turns out that my neighbor may have a point. Last fall, after moving away from many years on a farm into an urban house with a very small yard, I tried to compensate by planting my backyard full of garlic. This summer, when the garlic should have been pulled out of the ground and hung in a cool place to dry, I was busy living my new, urban life and didn’t get to it. Today when I went to see if all was lost, I found that my undug garlic bulbs had actually sprouted into a second generation. I decided to make the most of my inattentiveness and try an experiment—will pre-sprouted garlic cloves survive transplanting just before winter? I dug a few clumps of new shoots, separated them and replanted them in a different garden. They’re well mulched to keep the weeds out while I’m ignoring them next year. We’ll see how it goes.


















4. Horseradish
Another thing I inherited in my garden this year was a copious supply of horseradish. I’ve wanted to make horseradish sauce for a few years and never seem to get around to it so I decided this was my year.

















It’s really a very easy process. You dig up the roots, clean and peel them, blend them with water, drain the water off, pack the mush in a jar and top it off with vinegar. Apparently, the longer the ground horseradish is exposed to air, the more hot and pungent it gets due to some enzymatic process. So, well prepared cooks who manage to top their horseradish mush off immediately will end up with a milder version while disorganized folks with too little counter space who wait at least three minutes to get the vinegar poured will have a hotter product. I have a heck of a lot of horseradish now so I hope it’s tasty.









5. Herbs
I was going to write a little more abut drying herbs and how I killed half of my houseplants this week but there’s not really too much to say. I’ll leave it at this: Herbs are super easy to dry. If you have a garden or know of a garden that you can snip a few herbs from (thyme, sage and rosemary have all probably survived the frost we’ve had to date), snip a few, tie a string around them and hang them upside down until they’re crunchy. When they’re completely dry, pull them from their stems and store them in a lidded glass jar (they get dusty if you leave them hanging from the curtain rod in your kitchen all winter.) This also works with bunches of herbs you buy from the grocery and don’t use all of.


















And my poor houseplants. They’re dropping like flies. So far this week, I’ve lost my mint, a huge old aloe, and a lavender plant that had been doing SO well all summer.

















Perhaps it’s the aphids that I found on my pretty indoor pepper plant.

In the fridge

Another interesting? strange? internet trend is to post the contents of your fridge.
So here it is. Uncensored. Quite full from a recent grocery run and a few treats from my parent's Costco run.
























My god the condiments. Especially the hot sauces. What is wrong with us?
And I don't take responsibility for those Velveeta (i.e. emergency comfort grilled cheese) slices. Although I don't deny partaking.

Day of no multitasking

If you've ever done yoga or meditated, you know what not multitasking is like. The constant fight to be in the moment, not thinking or doing anything else... and failing... then trying again, and achieving moments of restful calm... before thinking about that email you need to send and what you're going to have for dinner.

Here are the things I didn't do today:
1. Read the newspaper while drying my hair and then eating breakfast
2. Listen to the radio while driving

















3. Open multiple programs or tabs on my computer, as best as I was able (Man, you have to try this one. It's comical).

















4. Do anything while eating lunch (Boring! I finally stopped halfway through and returned some email; then stopped and finished lunch.)

















5. Listen to the radio while driving home.
6. Listen to music or clean up while making dinner. (This was the hardest. I'm always putting away the dishes/sipping something/playing with CDs/cleaning/tidying while cooking... so it was really hard to just do one thing).
7. Do anything while eating dinner, alone. Damn.

I like experiments, so I think I'm going to try keeping up with some parts of this for a few more days to see how it goes. I feel like I noticed a lot more today, and felt calmer.

1+1=3?

First, a short quiz!

At this very moment, are you:
1. Eating or drinking
2. Listening to something
3. Keeping an eye of your email/IM/etc.
4. Toggling between reading blogs and your work.

If you can answer "none of the above," you win a prize.

I've always seen multitasking as 1+1=3, an efficient use of time that allows you to get much more done. Then I read Walter Kirn's article in the November 07 Atlantic Monthly.

According to Kirn, "Multitasking messes with the brain in several ways. At the most basic level, the mental balancing act that it requires--the constant switching and pivoting--energize regions of the brain that specialize in visual processing and physical coordination and simultaneously appear to shortchange some of the higher areas related to memory and learning. We concentrate on the act of concentration at the expense of whatever it is that we're supposed to be concentrating on."

He cites an experiment at UCLA that studied a group of 20-somethings who were asked to sort index cards in two trials, one in silence and one while listening for specific tones in a series of randomly presented sounds. The findings: "The subjects managed to sort the cards just as well with the musical distraction--but they had a much harder time remembering what, exactly, they'd been sorting once the experiment was over."

Also: "Certain studies find that multitasking boosts the level of stress-related hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline and wears down our systems through biochemical friction, prematurely aging us. In the short term, the confusion, fatigue, and chaos merely hamper our ability to focus and analyze, but in the long term, they may cause it to atrophy."

Scary stuff. Instead of learning to meditate, maybe we should start with trying to eat breakfast without reading the paper or watching TV.

TOMORROW: I put Kirn to the test, attempting A DAY WITHOUT MULTITASKING.

UPDATE: AP reported that someone she knew suffering from the early symptoms of Alzheimer's was told to multitask more! to ward off further regression. Cooking was recommended in particular. Interesting!

Oops

Things I have dropped down the bathroom sink:
1. Toothpaste caps (3)
2. Hair clip
3. The little silver "H" button that goes on top of the hot water tap
4. Eyeshadow brush

NaBloMoPo

A spinoff of NaBloMoPo this year is NaBloShoeMo: a daily picture of your shoes. I don't think I have 30 pairs of shoes, but to play along for just one day, here are a few samples from my closet:


















black metallic Privo Blink

















My latest running shoes: Asics Gel Kayano


















A blast from the past: purple foil Doc Martens


















Sock monkey slippers

Guest blogger! Husband on training movies

Today I bring you a special treat! Standing in for boring-ol-me is handsome and erudite Guest Blogger Husband.

Hi. This is Husband. As he with the ultimate capacity for self-destruction, the topic of my guest-blog (yes, we live in a society where that is an acceptable phrase) refers specifically to a subject where you feel as though you are doing something of observable benefit to the world but in point of fact are doing absolutely nothing.

Allow me to rephrase. I do not mean a task like alphabetizing your CDs or cleaning out your inbox. I mean doing something that while you feel you are making yourself a better person, you are actively making yourself feel worse and making your self-esteem look much more like self-loathing.

This quality is imperative in somebody with a high capacity for self-destruction. If this is something to which you aspire...read on (which guarantees you a spot in my camp). If you don't want to fall in a recursive loop, then go vacuum, rake, or fold something.

The point of this particular blog is to highlight the greatest training sequences in film (read: movies). I love training sequences. Male or female, something about watching somebody put themselves through hell to make themselves better and more fine tuned for the sport of their desire gives me warm fuzzies and makes me want to raise my fist in the air in exuberance (read: like Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club).

The following is a list with some anecdotes as to why I love them and why you should watch them wearing appropriate workout gear and Protein Shake in one hand.

10. Personal Best. OK so this one is a little specious because it is basically a lesbian love story and as a boy of 14 when I first watched it on Bravo at 1:00 am, the running may have not been the center of my focus. However, I have watched this movie since, and found the desperation to improve one's physical performance (not in the sack...well...OK in the sack but that is not what I meant) quite inspiring. Lots of running much, much faster than I will ever run.

9. Major League. A comedy. I use that term loosely. I does contain a lot of actors. One who went on to play the President (in 24), one who killed vampires (in the Blade oeuvre...that's right oeuvre), one who starred in the Hot Shots movies and that guy from all of those things who you can never place. Anyway. You watch a band of mediocre baseball player train up to become a team (dammit) and kick some major tail. Some things that are important for the genre that we have learned from this movie. One: first basemen must be fat, rude, and spit tobacco. Two: women who own sports teams desire failure (I know...it's sad.) Three: all baseball players who are at all from the Caribbean are superstitious to the extent that they perform quasi voodoo rituals in the clubhouse, but can only truly succeed when one renounces one's traditions and adopt a more Judeo-Christian attitude (every bit as sad). The reason I love this is because it makes me want to strive.

8. Miracle. Come on. In addition to all of the awesome with the hockey it's all about people's dreams and aspirations. The only way the characters can obtain them is by kicking their own asses every day. I remember being totally inspired to kick ass while watching this move and eating potato chips, French onion dip and a bourbon and diet coke. Needless to say asses have yet to be kicked.

7. Rocky. This one is easy. Brother wants to kick ass in order to win the love of Talia Shire(!). I defy you to not feel like you want to be the most awesome person of all time after watching Sly drink four raw eggs and run up the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. After finishing the film for the first time I considered making my fight name the Norwegian Gelding....but I just couldn't pick what color robe so I abandoned it.

6. Spartacus. Ooh...Stanley Kubric...look at me being cinema savvy. But really, guys training together only to kill one another...awesome. Reminds me of middle school *rimshot*. Spartacus had a dimple in his chin...I have a dimple in my chin...I am Spartacus.

5. Karate Kid. So Ralph Macchio was 31 years old playing a 16 year old. Pat Morita was playing a somewhat embarrassing stereotype but damn. Wax-on wax-off. Paint the fence. Grab the fly with the chopsticks. That would definitely make me want to learn the damn crane kick and hit Johnny in the face. I cheered...but of course I was 9. Sweep the leg Johnny. Yes sensei indeed.

4. Chariots of Fire. Come on you know the ditty. Dun dun dun dun dun dunnnn. dun dun dun dun dunnnn. dun dun dun dun dun duh dunnnn. dun dun dun dun dun. doo doo doo doo do do do. doo doo doo do doo. doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. dun dun dun dun dun. I defy you to watch that movie and not sing that in your head at some point in the race.

3. Prefontaine. Jordan Catalano playing a distance runner (OK it was Jared Leto...but come on...brother will be 78 playing the senior Bowling with the Stars circuit and I will think of him as Jordan). This is the single most awesome running movie of all time that has nothing but terrible acting and an embarrassing script. That being said. If I were asked what I would rather watch right now: Citizen Kane, The Godfather, Apocalypse Now or Prefontaine...I would go with Pre every time. He runs a lot...he's good at it. It's awesome.

2. Remember the Titans. Denzel. (wait, read in movie trailer guy voice) In a world full of racial tension, two groups of players must come together for a common goal. With forced sentimentality and Disneyfied struggles and strife, we find that we are all the same. We all want to kick ass. With the ass kicking. Oh, Denzel's in it too. (end movie trailer guy's voice). Movie's awesome they have to work damn hard and they learn lessons about diversity. Love it.

1. Bend it Like Beckham. OK. So I know I mentioned Personal Best first which pushes my dirty-old-man meter to like 7.5. already, so a movie about attractive teenage women soccer players being my single favorite training sequence movie of all times probably makes me the guy you hope doesn't sit next you you on the bus. But I am admitting this to all 15 of you who read this. This is the movie that made me start running. She of the Stolen Bike and I saw this movie in the theatre in April of 2002. The next day I started running. After having finished four marathons and training for my fifth I think the inspirational qualities of this film could not be overstated. God bless you Keira Knightely.

Other movies worth noting for specious reasons. Marathon Man with Hoffman and Olivier...not about running but the Holocaust. Well, I know that now. Logan's Run, not about running...and pretty crap. Ran by Akira Kurosawa...actually a Japanese retelling of King Lear...very few instances of body glide or water stops. 300 - I really want computer generated abs...but hell...who needs a six-pack when I have a keg. Spider-Man - Peter figuring out his powers is cool...but he is a superhero who has probably not thought of the phrase "florp chafing." And last but not least ,the Joss Whedon oeuvre because its awesome.

So thus concludes my list of training awesomeness. Any time any of you want to watch any of these movies let me know...but make sure to bring workout clothes because I am powerless against their jazzercizing influence.

Thanks She of the Stolen Bike. It's been fun.

Signing off
Husband

Drinking local

I thought I was so clever when I realized that out of all the things you can't get locally, you can get one very important thing: vodka.

My celebratory jig was quashed when I remembered that vodka has two best buddies: tonic and limes. Decidedly not local.

Sigh.

Coffee, fixed

I'm sometimes late to the environmental game. While everyone else is warming up and getting ready to take the field, I'm still tying my shoes and fiddling with my glove.

I was convinced that part of the coffee experience was the paper cup. Its smooth clean white paper sliding against your thumb. The crisp logos, and even better, pretty holiday designs. I was so sure that I never even tried bringing my own stainless steel travel mug... until I was on my way to a camping trip a few weeks ago and realized that I already had my mug with me.

Shock: Coffee tastes better and stays hot longer in a travel mug.

If that weren't enough, today I noticed that local coffee shop charges me the small price, even though the mug holds at least a medium.

I'll be damned.

I'll give it back

Dear Daylight Savings Time,
Why do you bring so much joy on Sunday only to kick our asses the rest of the week? You freely give us that extra hour, then make us pay, pay, PAY!
With sorrow,
Tacohead

Up to her earrings in murky territory

I went to a women's conference today. There were a lot of tremendous things about it... but I couldn't decide what to think about the resource fair that took place right before lunch. It was one of those things with the booths and the drawings and free samples. I'm sure they let pretty much anyone who wants to pay to exhibit do so, but in between all the booths that seemed right (MBA programs, women's bookstores, health insurance), there were all these booths that seemed murky (spas, high-end purses) and the booths that seemed downright wrong (Mary Kay makeup, gimmicky soap).

Why is a spa OK but makeup not? Would it have been different if it were a high-end, mineral-based makeup? What about it being Mary Kay--is it a company that empowers women or exploits them in a sketchy pyramid scheme?
And am I being naive? Are makeup and purses really part of the businesswoman's attire, and therefore, no different than having a tie booth at a men's expo?

More Pillow Book

A few more lists from Sei Shonagon*:

64. Surprising and Distressing Things
While one is cleaning a decorative comb, something catches in the teeth and the comb breaks.
A carriage overturns. One would have imagined that such a solid, bulky object would remain forever on its wheels. It all seems like a dream--astonishing and senseless.
A child or grown-up blurts out something that is bound to make people uncomfortable.
All night long one has been waiting for a man who one thought was sure to arrive. At dawn, just when one has forgotten about him for a moment and dozed off, a crow caws loudly. One wakes up with a start and sees that it is daytime--most astonishing.

148. Pleasing Things
Finding a large number of tales that one has not read before. Or acquiring a second volume of a tale whose first volume one has enjoyed. But often it is a disappointment.
Someone has torn up a letter and thrown it away. Picking up the pieces, one finds that many of them can be fitted together.
A person of quality is holding forth about something in the past or about a recent event that is being widely discussed. Several people are gathered around him, but it is oneself that he keeps looking at as he talks.
I am most pleased when I hear someone I love being praised or being mentioned approvingly by an important person.
When one is competing in an object match (it does not matter what kind) how can one help being pleased at winning?

And another from me:

Things that make you feel virtuous
Having broken shoes repaired
Making and then drinking tea
Using an off-misused word correctly
Crossing something off a list
Throwing/recycling away empty shampoo bottles

*Ivan Morris translation

Christmas spirit

The holiday issue of Blueprint arrived on my desk with a thunk last week, and by the time I was halfway through the issue I was dreamily composing a wish list of holiday magic. At this time every year I fantasize about creatively wrapped presents, homemade goodies to give away, and gifts that are so well chosen they make the receiver weep with joy.

Yes, the holidays have arrived. Blueprint and Mighty Goods have published their gift guides. My parents have shared the family holiday travel schedule 2007 and reminded me that it's my turn for a real bed at the cabin... and that I may want to remind my brother of that well in advance.

What visions of sugar plums are dancing through your head? Finding the perfect Christmas tree? Crafting or cooking up homemade gifts? Really doing the whole holiday card thing right?

Running in the winter

As the weather gets cooler, a lot of people start heading indoors for their runs. But it can be done! I don't think it's as hard as people think. Here are some tips:

Tacohead's Guide to Running in the Winter
1. Start out slow so you don't get the burning throat thing. It is possible to run in cold weather without it! Just take it easy until your body warms up. Gaiters also help.
2. Where I live, most common running paths (lakes, etc.) are plowed regularly--after a snowstorm they're usually clear before the streets get plowed. Slipping and ice isn't as much as a problem as you'd think.
3. To ward off windburn, WarmSkin, available at local coops. Good enough for Ann Bancroft, good enough for me!
4. Favorite clothing options you may not have considered: SmartWool socks instead of your regular running socks, a gaiter (mine converts to a hat), and shirts with built in "hobo" gloves or thumb holes. Wind is also a huge factor, so consider a wind-proof layer.
5. When dressing or purchasing clothing, look for bright colors or reflective gear. Or, if you're bad at this like I am, then look for running companions who have bright/reflective gear!

MOST IMPORTANT THING NOT TO UNDERESTIMATE:
How tough and awesome you'll feel when your done! And no matter how cold you get, there's always that hot shower afterward.

Pillow book

Over a thousand years ago (c. 990), a woman in Japan named Sei Shonagon kept a series of diaries about her life serving as a lady-in-waiting to Empress Sadako. Heian court life is full of receiving and rejecting lovers, taking nature-viewing trips, and writing poetry, and Shonagon records and reflects on it all in her Pillow Book, a blogger before her time.

Shonagon is famous for her lists, which are surprisingly timeless.

For example:

54. Things That Give a Pathetic Impression*
The voice of someone who blows his nose while he is speaking.
The expression of a woman plucking her eyebrows.

63. Embarrassing Things
A man whom one loves gets drunk and keeps repeating himself.
To have spoken about someone not knowing that he could overhear. This is embarrassing even if it be a servant or some other completely insignificant person.
Parents, who are convinced that their ugly child is adorable, pet him and repeat the things he has said, imitating his voice.
An ignoramus who in the presence of some learned person puts on a knowing air and converses about men of old.
Lying awake at night, one says something to one's companion, who simply goes on sleeping.

Her work inspires me see lists wherever I look:

Things that are surprisingly sweet (if done by the right person)
Having something pressed into your palm
Being called "hon"
Receiving a hand-written letter
Having your birthday remembered
Being tucked in
Having something pinned on your lapel

*Ivan Morris translation

Monthly book post: October

October list:
Warm Springs: Traces of a Childhood at FDR's Polio Haven by Susan Richards Shreve. Shreve is a talented writer, and her short but incredibly rich account is as much about family dynamics, race, and human nature as it is about polio and Franklin Delano Roosevelt, two topics that are compelling enough on their own.

Here if you need me: A true story by Kate Braestrup. The story of a suddenly widowed mother of four who becomes a game warden chaplain in Maine. When loved ones go missing in forest or lakes, Braestrup is the one who stays with the family. With frankness sometimes even humor, the way she assesses and provides the needed comfort to families (and to her fellow officers) is nothing short of grace.

Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher. This sweet children's story deserves to be shelved alongside the works of L. M. Montgomery and Laura Ingalls Wilder. I can't remember where I just read about Fisher, but she's a fascinating woman, credited with bringing the Montessori tradition to the U.S.

Also read:
Three Bags Full: A Sheep Detective Novel by Leonie Swann (Yet another international best-selling mystery must lose something in translation).
The Headmaster Ritual by Taylor Antrim (Joins the list of books I wanted to throw across the room)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

October

Whew! There has been some sad-assed posting going on in October. Judging from this blog alone you would think I 1. anticipated a marathon 2. ran and crashed and brooded over a marathon and 3. maybe read too many books. But that is not accurate! There is so much more! I have been:

1. Spending time with Husband curled up under blankets watching Ugly Betty.
2. Camping, paddling, running, and eating amazing pancakes topped with whipped cream, maple syrup, and berries with friends alongside the Red Cedar River.
3. Crafting, trivia gaming, and ginger cardamom pear butter-making with a friend at the cabin.
4. Seeing old friends, doing yoga, and playing racquetball.
5. Shimmying in my kitchen to music as I make big batches of comforting fall foods

And not so novel or exciting:
5. Working like a madwoman
6. Running (I'm still in training, yo)

In honor of my October, I give you the following links:
Amazing butternut squash macaroni and cheese
Good and simple and comforting French-style yogurt cake
A trivia game that works with two players and that justifies your liberal arts degree
She needs no links, but my shimmying companion has lately been Amy Winehouse
and of course the ginger cardamom pear butter recipe (canning not required!)

Marathon #3

Last week was pretty rough.

Not finishing the marathon and being sent to the hospital in an ambulance from Mile 25 left me physically and emotionally shaken. Why had my body failed me? Why I had failed my body? How could I have put my parents through the nearly two hours of panic, wondering where I was and borrowing cell phones and searching for me, only to get a call saying I was at the hospital?

Not to mention, why is race day always record-setting hot and humid?

The outpouring of love that comes after disappointment from family and friends helped heal my pride, and grieve for the loss of something I'd dreamed about for months. Getting the test results that confirmed that I hadn't done permanent damage to my body also helped.

It wasn't until Friday that I started feeling physically like myself again, and I headed to the post-marathon run club party excited see everyone and congratulate them on their race, especially the first-time marathoners that I'd proudly watch gain confidence and skill. I was enveloped by hugs, martinis, and plans for continued running and future races, and as we danced tipsily around the table, passionately singing along to We Are the Champions, I had this moment of sublime peace and happiness when I realized that I was equally a part of the celebration... that I didn't have to feel bad about what had happened... that I really was a champion.

Then the congo line started. And someone's boob was grabbed. And Husband wiped out on the front walk while spinning someone around.

Nerves

You may since its my third marathon I wouldn't be as nervous.
But that is not the case.

I still put a lot of pressure on myself to do the absolute best I can do. Maybe even more so, since this is my third and I now know what I can do.

And there are so many factors--weather, strategy, water and fuel intake, various minor injuries, group vs. solo running--to rethink and make minute adjustments to.

But I decided yesterday to stop worrying about the weather forecast and get my game face on. It's going to be super fun. I'm going to run strong. I've trained hard and listened well and know what to do. I've done most of the course, running the last 11 miles on legs nearly as tired as they'll be on Sunday. I'll do my best to plan for what I can, but I'll handle whatever else comes up that I didn't plan for.

Most of all, I'm going to take it all in and have fun. I'm getting really excited just thinking about it. See you at the finish line. Woot!

Monthly book post: September

September list:
Literacy and Longing in L.A. - Jennifer Kaufman and Karen Mack
This book's protagonist is a self-described "book binger" who is refreshingly not mousy or socially awkward, but attractive and well-dressed, as appropriate for the book's L.A. setting. Her enthusiasm for reading is infectious, making you want embark on a multi-day wine/bath/bookfest of your own. When she's not reading, Dora is navigating a messy relationship with the hip clerk of her favorite bookstore and figuring out what to about her nearly-ex-husband.

Bento Box in the Heartland: My Japanese Girlhood in Whitebread America - Linda Furiya. This memoir starts out with the childlike ignorance of a young girl, then deepens in complexity as Furiya grows up and realizes that her life is different not just because her family is Japanese, but also because of the way her parents have raised her. Find out why her parents laughed when she complained about an old WWII GI pawing at her at a potluck, and what her teacher did when a classmate made his finger into a gun and shot at her during a lecture on Hiroshima. A food writer at heart, Furiya ends each chapter with a recipe from her youth.

Fourth Comings - Megan McCafferty
Although McCafferty's tetralogy (Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, and Charmed Thirds) is often shelved in the adult section, they're really well-written young adult novels. If say, your husband or boyfriend is out of town and you want to curl up with a fun yet indulgent book and some artichoke brie dip, you might choose these books. You could start with this one (post-college), if you wanted something more adult than the first one (her junior or senior year of high school).

The Discomfort Zone - Jonathan Franzen
Follow Jonathan from his youth as a church group attending-school prankster geek through his post college romantic foibles to his unexpected transformation into a bird watching devotee, all framed within the context of his strange relationship with his parents, brought about by reflections on his mother's death. (Memoir).

Also read:
I checked out Ann M. Martin's new youth series, The Main Street books, as well as new graphic novel adaptations of her Babysitter's Club classics. I've also been following a new graphic novel imprint aimed at teen girls, unfortunately titled Minx. The latest title, Good as Lily, would be great for junior high girls.

Still Life with Chickens: Starting Over in a House by the Sea - Catherine Goldhamme
The Lost: The Search for Six of Six Million - Daniel Mendelsson
The Best of Friends: Two women, two continents, and one enduring friendship - Sara James and Ginger Mauney
Women, Water, Wisdom: Voices from the Upper Mississippi - Nancy Scheibe
Mary Reilly - Valerie Martin
Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour - Mark Leyner

Endangered dinners

Hotdish is going extinct.

Hotdish (and its close cousin, casseroles) were staples of my childhood. There was the tuna noodle kind, the despised hamburger hotdish, and my favorite, one made with wagon wheel pasta. Several times a week their steaming dishes graced the dinner table.

And now, except for holidays, (where Green Bean Casserole and Carrot Casserole, a tasty concoction of carrots, cheese, and croutons, frequently make an appearance) I haven't seen one for years.

It's a dying culture, an essential craft handed down for generations, a language that is being lost. It was a vital part of my childhood, but will I serve them to my children? Not likely. All jokes aside, that my children will not know hotdish makes me truly sad.

So I decided to bring hotdish back. From now on, anything serving in a large baking dish is a hotdish in my house, whether or (most likely) not it contains Cream of Mushroom soup or a crunchy fried topping. The dish Husband and I now know as Enchilada Bake? It's Enchilada Hotdish. Pasta bake has become Pasta Hotdish. And the brown rice that I threw together with tomatoes, tomatillos, peppers, cheese, and adobo earlier this week? Late Summer Harvest Hotdish.

Year 3

Our 5-year plan for having kids has become quite a joke, as we keep starting over on year 4 (a la Groundhog's Day). So far we have:

1. Read books about having kids (Husband just finished Neal Pollock's Alternadad).
2. Watched friends and family have kids
3. Been guilted into taking a daily vitamin by doctor, just in case
4. Had initial discussions about child care, finances, etc.
5. Collected all stuff that might apply to a child (stuffed animals we've received from various places, adorable vintage alphabet placards I found at a garage sale) into a storage bin.
6. Thought a lot about where baby might sleep in our house, and how that would work

But one of the things that has been most helpful is reading mommy blogs--the firsthand accounts of having kids that don't pull punches and pretend its all moons and stars.

Dooce has an amazing post today about motherhood that transcends motherhood in its brilliance. I'm going to print it out and put it in my file. What file? That would be:

7. Made a file for baby tips, gear recommendations, parenting advice, etc.

Maybe we're ready to upgrade to year 3.

Advice

I ran across this piece of advice on Mighty Girl, one of my regular reads:

To choose a spouse, find someone who is flawlessly kind but has an incredibly strong backbone. See also: Marry him only if you will be proud when your child turns out just like him.

I was first struck by it because it's an apt description of Husband, so I patted myself on the back. But then I thought of other husbands I know--of family friends and run club buddies--and realized that it held true for others as well. I tested the theory further by seeing if it applied to me and those friends' corresponding wives, and while we are definitely kind and have backbone, I don't think those are our most distinguishing characteristics.

So what kind of wife should a husband choose?

Other Mighty Girl advice from that post:

Don’t make assumptions, and don’t take things personally.

What you give is what you get. When you predict that negative things will happen, they do. The opposite is also true.

Plan less, do more.

Always have a valid passport.

Stop picking at that.

I've also been contemplating that simple mantra, "Do no harm," after reading about it in a book recently.

You'll be a real good listener

There is this Rilo Kiley song I really like, and while it's about depression and most of that is outside of my experience, I like to take that part not so literally and enjoy the lyrics for how they appeal to me.

Because this part is 100% me, at least how I feel I should be most of the time:

"And you’ll be better
And you’ll be smarter
And more grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend..."

For better or worse, I'm constantly conceiving of or embarking on some sort of improvement plan to be a better wife/friend/daughter/sister/relative/worker/neighbor, not to mention listener/talker/thinker/athlete/artist... and I can't really turn that instinct off.

There's always that carrot out there, that it's possible to be a real good friend, and I'm always chasing it, although I should be pulling out a stick to beat that impulse back, because I'll never feel that I've achieved it.

A battle of socks

My friend KC has the whitest socks.

















My socks are always dingy, thanks to softball and trail running and my red and before than, blue, insoles. But this time I'd had enough, and decided to pull out all my tricks.

First, the dishwashing powder + bleach + hot water soak that brightened up many a t-shirt. No dice.

Second, a paste of borax and washing soda, left on a long time. A bit brighter, but still grayish.

Here they are after step two, with KC's gleaming socks for comparison.


















(If you are wondering how I ended up in possession of a pair of her socks, no, I did not steal them. I did rummage around in her bag and help myself when I found myself without, but that's what we do. She'd borrowed a sports bra of mine earlier in the week. And maybe on some unknown blog she's posting a picture of it and writing about its relative cleanliness RIGHT NOW).

Third and last, I tried a new technique: boiling with lemon.


















I'm sorry to report that this story does not have a happy ending. After I'd forgot about the boiling pot and my socks were more than al dente, I spooned them up and realized that while the white parts were whiter, the gray/red parts were still gray/red.

And peeking at the unappetizing gray brew, I concluded:
1. The strong products I've used over the past months have undoubtedly leached the black writing on the cuffs, thus soaking them in a pale gray dye, and
2. My socks have been gray for a long time, and old stains aren't easy to get out.

So I will either just not care or buy some new damn socks.
The end.

Monthly book post: August

I decided that I'm reading too many good books not to comment on them. If you don't like to read or don't like to read about what I read, then skip these posts.

August list:
Frenemies - Megan Crane
I felt kind of bad about this book because it looks like silly chick-lit, but damn, Crane really gets the silly games that women play, and I found myself recounting bits to Husband about how astute the book was. Not your average chick lit.

Partly Cloudy Patriot - Sarah Vowell.
If you haven't read anything of Vowell's and like, say, NPR, then get thee to the library because Vowell is hilarious and brilliant. She also has a love-it-or-hate-it voice (she is the voice of The Incredibles' Violet), which might tempt or dissuade you from the audio book version, which is how I read (listened to) the book.

Austenland - Shannon Hale
Like Jane Austen and want a quick, fun read? Read Hale's story about a woman who receives an all-expenses paid trip to a Jane Austen fantasy camp, and who struggles to find herself and possibly true love amidst the false trappings of recreated Regency England.

Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant - Daniel Tammet.
Tammet goes from a boy obsessively collecting chestnuts to a man who manages to have an adult, loving relationship with another person. Along the way he succeeds in reciting 22,514 digits of pi in just over five hours, is the subject of an international documentary, and shares his amazing language ability, evidenced by his learning conversational Icelandic in one week. Also read in audiobook.

The Sweet Edge by Alison Pick.
This novel just begs to be discussed. Adam and Ellen are a young Toronto couple on the cusp of either marriage or disaster. A one night's mistake upsets Adam's world, sending him on a two-month canoe trip in the wilds of Canada, leaving Ellen, abandoned, for a summer at her art gallery job. Any book featuring wild rivers is always a hit with me, and Adam's
swift mental and physical descent into danger kept me reading long past bed time.

To maintain my credibility as a writer (i.e. to not bore you to death), I'm not going to comment on the books that I read that I don't feel have a somewhat mass appeal. However, I'll duly warn you away from anything I read that is not recommended. Here's the rest that was just fine but didn't warrant commentary:

Without a Map - Meredith Hall

Two-part invention: The story of a marriage - Madeline L'Engle

Second Opinions: Stories of intuition and choice in a changing world of medicine - Jerome Groopman
Swapping Lives - Jane Green

Me + fall = true love

It's back. That time of the training cycle when I reek like IcyHot, am constantly covered in frozen vegetables, and absentmindedly massage my joints in polite company. I had done well, nary indulging in even the BioFreeze, until the combo of hill repeats and speed work and 18 and 20 mileage conspired to make all sorts of things hurt in a worrying way. But it's also that time in the training when I start to feel sad, ("We're already 2/5 of the way through our longest runs?!"). But this time I think I can handle the post-marathon life, running with friends or the club and maintaining a half marathon level throughout the winter without having a breakdown or existential crisis.

It is also the time of year when Husband returns to a rehearsal schedule, and is no longer around evenings. (Soon to be followed by his production schedule, where he is no longer around on the weekends). Like all things there are the parts I don't like (cooking dinner for myself every night) and the parts that I like (getting lots of house projects done, seeing friends more).

The first cool winds of fall are also in the air, and I couldn't be more excited. I feel like I spent the whole summer in sweaty run clothes (pre, during, or post-run) and eating cereal for dinner because it's too hot to cook and there's no time anyway. I envision fall being a time of cool, invigorating runs, lots of laborious cooking and baking, and time to relax and get together with friends. Bring it on, fall.