Thursday, May 12, 2005

If you have to ask...

A friend, when I met her last fall, asked me if people always know that The One is The One before getting married, or whether it’s different for different people. She shared that she'd been with her guy for five years (with several breaks) and while she couldn't swear he was The One, they'd been together a long time and were happy.
I never know what to say; just because I made good in one marriage doesn't mean I'm somehow gifted in all things relationship. As loathe as I was to make any generalities, I couldn't help thinking that if you've been in a relationship five years and are worried that you don't know he/she is The One... that it’s probably a good indicator that he/she is not The One. At some point, you do just know - that whatever comes up you can work out, that you will be able to live with their charming/maddening idiosyncrasies, that he/she is not going to change beyond recognition. But you can never tell people that; that's not what she wanted to hear.
Anyway, after five years they broke up yesterday. As hard as it must be to leave someone you do enjoy and are happy with, it seems that there comes a time when you need more than that.

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